There’s a line from a Black Sabbath song where Ozzy laments being ‘Sick and tired of being sick and tired’.
I know how the prince of darkness feels honey. As many of my friends and loved ones know, my health has been a struggle for years. None of which was helped out by a major car accident, residual trauma, chronic pain feat. bulging disc L4 + L5, herniated disc, nerve damage C7, Hip bursitis. I also have sleep Apnea, T2 Diabetes, Asthma, Edema, Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, and severe gastro stuff. I got the whole damn alphabet right now.
Exhausted, burnt out and sick would be understatements. Existential crises sprinkled on top for added flavor. I don’t say any of this to complain (well, maybe a little) but to explain what the current state of my body and mind are. In the last 12 months, cumulatively I spent about a month admitted to the hospital.
We got engaged this year (October 2019), and are planning to get married in October 2021. I am BEYOND excited to have the best party ever surrounded by my favorite people. (Mick, mom said you have to save her a dance.) I’m even more excited to spend the rest of my life with my person.
I’ve lost near to 80lbs in the last year too (not all of it on purpose, though, that’s the goal.) and we’re working on the ever near-toppling Jenga tower that is my body and brain. I don’t have any new year’s resolutions per se, just to keep trying, and keep showing up.
I know now is when people make resolutions and promises that may or may not be kept. If you’re struggling with it all, or maybe just having a bad day; keep going. Stay here because you deserve to be here, and you deserve to have a life worth living. Whatever that looks like to you.
I don’t know how regularly I’m going to be updating, but I am going to try to show up more often because that’s most of what life is. Showing up, for yourself, for the people you love, and for the people who love you.
EllyRox 